The gem of the day, found in yesterday morning’s Twitter feed, is a short how-to asking the question Why Aren't You Delegating? The great leaders in the workplace that I know personally do this really well. After spending some time last week with one of them, a female colleague sharing her frustrations about the lack of any division of labor at home, I’m looking at this issue of delegation from a different vantage point. What would happen if women practiced delegation at home?
As women, we’re the leaders on the home front, responsible for operations. As the COO of a double-income household of white collar professionals in their mid-forties, a woman is likely managing an annual budget in six figures. And she spends little time in the environment she’s responsible for, with an 8 hour workday, plus 1 -2 for her commute. Yet she operates under an extremely inefficient service delivery model doing nearly everything herself. No leader in her right mind would ever run her team at the office in this manner, yet this is what is going on in the majority of households. Looking at this situation from a purely business perspective, this is not a viable model. So why is it that the overwhelming majority of tasks associated with managing the upkeep of these facilities and their inhabitants fall on the woman? And more importantly, why are these strong, confident women unable to change behaviors at home?
Part of it is innate; along with bearing and caring for children comes ownership of the nest. Women have been socialized to believe that all operations at home require their loving touch, and that in some way sub-contracting this work signifies we care more about our careers than our families. Delegating operations at home, instead of being viewed as a more efficient way of doing things, is misinterpreted as prioritizing work over family which is still widely received as socially unacceptable for women. What woman wants to be accused of neglecting her family to pursue interests in the business world? Because of this stigma, women have simply added work to their plates, unable to shed tasks at home. This leaves us with a bunch of frustrated women attempting to balance work and life, wondering why their spouses don’t seem the least bit willing to help out. In fact, many women have trouble even broaching this topic because they may discover that their spouse’s solution uncovers a startlingly selfish and contemptuous truth, that many men would rather have their wives sacrifice their careers, cutting back to spend more time at home, than pitch in themselves, or even invest in out-sourcing to enable a woman to pursue her passion. What woman wants to give up an interesting, creative and challenging job to spend more time at the washing machine?
The path to change begins with how you see yourself: Start viewing yourself as the leader that you are and determine how you’re going to make yourself replaceable at home. Why? Because great leaders recognize that their job is to teach through delegation. According to the HBR post, "Your most important task as a leader is to teach people how to think and ask the right questions so that the world doesn't go to hell if you take a day off," says Jeffrey Pfeffer, the Thomas D. Dee II Professor of Organizational Behavior at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business. Ladies, this applies at home, too. If we continue to do for our families, we model the very behavior pattern we’re trying to break, the pattern that we need to break if there is ever going to be gender equity in the workplace.
If you’ve got teenagers, like I do, you have a built-in labor pool in dire need of developing the very skills you wish to unload. I admit, they are likely not top talent in terms of skillset or aspirations, but I bet your situation bears an eerie resemblance to this statement in the HBR blog, directed toward the workplace: "A classic sign of insufficient delegation is that you are working long hours and feel totally indispensable, while your staff isn't terribly energized and keeps strangely regular hours," says Carol Walker, the president of Prepared to Lead, a consulting firm that focuses on developing young leaders. Are you wondering how you might influence this sullen and apathetic brood? The answer lies more in changing your own perspective and expectations than in attempting to motivate your workforce.
While we obviously can’t put our husbands or children on performance plans, and they are not going to be motivated by the same rewards our teams at the office are, nor will they call us out if we fall back into our old ways, what we can control is how we look at this situation. So how do you make this happen?
Look at your operation in detail. What needs to get done to keep the household running and who currently owns the task? Don’t be discouraged by the black and white reality that most will have your name beside them. Prioritize. What needs to be touched by you; what do you absolutely love doing and don’t wish to give up? These items stay on your list. What could be out-sourced, either to your team at home or a third party should be delegated. Have a discussion with your family to communicate the reorganization you are implementing in your household. Explain why and how roles and responsibilities are changing. Keep a strictly business approach. You are doing nothing more than resetting expectations on how this household will run. This happens every day at the office, and you have no problem communicating the message there.
Once you start delegating, you really do need to let go. This is the most painful part of this type of change, no doubt. You’ll need to accept that mistakes will be made, the quality will be lacking and speed will likely not meet your current expectations. But remember, these people are learning. According the blog post, "If you want people to learn, you have to permit them to make mistakes and figure out how to correct them," says Pfeffer. If you micromanage, you've missed the point.
Be prepared: Your home may no longer look like Martha Stewart Living. Cereal may not be just for breakfast anymore. You may not be represented at every parent-teacher conference. Teenage boys may leave the house in dirty clothes more often than you’d like. But they will all figure it out. And here’s what happens in the process: If you keep on your plate the vital few tasks that define your home as a haven for you, and let go of the rest, you’ll have more guilt-free time to pursue your passions. Your crew will absolutely grumble for a while, count on it. But aren’t you the one living in silent (or not so silent) contempt right now because all of the responsibility is sitting in your lap? Isn’t your happiness as important as that of those you love? I say yes.
No comments:
Post a Comment