Retrospect

“Girl, you’ve been given gifts.  Use them.”  If you guessed that these words were uttered by a father to his daughter, you’d be right.  I don’t know the whole story behind them, but I imagine I can hear the vexation in this man’s voice as he admonishes his pride and joy for her inability to see in herself what is so clearly evident to him.  And so it goes for all of us, especially in our youth. 

I nodded my head profusely throughout this entire Forbes blog post highlighting advice successful businesswomen give to millennials, the generation in the latent stages of their careers:   http://www.forbes.com/sites/sherenejoseph/2013/01/12/advice-for-millennials-from-power-women/?utm_campaign=fwtwittersf&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social  Do the words ring true?  No question.  Are these young women at a point in their lives when they can hear them?  Probably not. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are always exceptions to the rule.  But this isn’t meant to be a criticism of this young generation, either.  It’s more like a very real illustration of how wisdom spawns from living life, and the undeniable truth that you can’t rush experience.

How can young women possibly be ready to hear these words?  I remember vividly how it felt to be in my first job out of college. I scanned the want-ads in the newspaper to source opportunities. When I interviewed with the owner of the small business who made the job offer to me, I was humiliated to be asked upon my acceptance if I had taken into consideration how long my commute would be.  My salary was paltry because I lacked the confidence to negotiate with this man who treated me like a little girl. I needed a job, which to me translated into taking what I was offered. It was probably one of the most powerless situations I’ve ever been in.   

Are today’s women more poised, mature and better prepared to enter the workforce?  I’m sure they are.  But I’d be willing to bet that very few of them have a clear vision of where they want to go, can articulate all of their strengths, or have the confidence to mold a role to fit them. Nor should they. At this point in life most haven’t even begun to explore all that they’re capable of.  

Interestingly enough, I find this advice really resonates with me now, twenty-six years into my career.  I’m finally at a point where I’m confident enough to wield the power I possess to drive my own career.  It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve come to understand I don’t need to follow the predetermined path, but I literally had to come to the end of that path for this reality to sink in.  Having held jobs that were less than fulfilling, I have a real need now to do meaningful work, and can turn down assignments when I don’t believe I can make a difference.

Being the parent of teenagers, I fully appreciate the futility and frustration that come when counsel falls on deaf ears. The years finally gifting me with hindsight, recalling the many times I sat across the table myself on the receiving end of sage advice from a valuable mentor attempting to deliver a message I simply could not hear.