Perspicuity

In order to go for what you want, you have to know what you want. I talk a good game around the need to express goals, to say them out loud, in order to achieve them.  However, I was reminded last week that, in the words of Tom Petty, “you can’t say what you don’t know.”

While mentoring a group of highly talented, emerging women leaders, it became apparent that being faced with options can be its own challenge.  One woman in particular has a golden opportunity.  Her company is in the middle of a reorganization.  Roles are being redefined and created.  Job functions may move to different cities.  She has a chance to take on a bigger role. She talked a lot about being willing to relocate, but never said with conviction that she wanted to relocate. When I pointed out that her manager was probably unclear about what she wanted, because she appeared to be wavering herself, she admitted she’s got work to do in terms of figuring out what it is she wants next.

We spent some time talking about our expectations that career paths in our respective companies should be prescribed, that our managers should be taking responsibility to assess our readiness and put us in the next position within the hierarchy when they deem us ready.  We put our heads down and do our work, waiting for the announcement that we’re moving up.

This is the safe approach. It does two things; it eliminates the need to do the hard work and project the confidence required to own our careers, and if we wait until a manager proclaims us ready for the next move, we’re certain to have the validation we need from others to feel qualified.  The problem is this leads to frustration that comes with remaining in a position long after we’ve outgrown it, and not getting what we want. In the case of a changing organization where our next step is not obvious, we run the risk of being left out in the cold or having someone else choose for us.

Thank goodness it doesn’t have to be this way in most organizations.  We get to own our careers, but deciding what they look like is not easy. We often dismiss what we really want without serious consideration because we don’t know how we’ll get there or we don’t believe we have what it takes. We kill our own ideas right on the table.

I like to think about what I want to be doing in a perfect world, assuming there are no barriers.  I put my ideas down on paper, free of any self-imposed restrictions.  I don’t worry about how it might happen or what obstacles are in my way.  I end up with a list of things I absolutely love. 

My goals are big.  It’s not clear when I look at them today how I’ll ultimately get there.  I spent some time being paralyzed over the magnitude of my goals, until I read this Harvard Business Review blog called “What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do” http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/03/what_to_do_when_you_dont_know.html. It talks about the need to keep moving forward in the face of uncertainty. You pick a direction you want to go, take a small step toward it, analyze what happened and reassess your situation before taking the next step. 

It’s been an unbelievably powerful process for me.  It allows me to see, almost immediately, success or failure with the step I’ve taken and gives me the opportunity to decide whether I want to keep moving forward with my chosen path or try something else. After taking only a few small steps, I’ve become really clear on what I want to pursue.     

The most surprising benefit of all for me is the confidence that is building.  With each step I take, I see myself getting closer to achieving my goals. This success makes it easier to say out loud what I want because I’m starting to believe I can actually get there.  I feel compelled to tell more people about where I’m going.  The fire in my belly is constantly stoked. 

My own confidence breeds confidence in others.  In fact, I shared with the mentoring group what I experienced seeking out the opportunity to work with them.  I eagerly forwarded my resume detailing my qualifications.  I thought I’d need to interview or go through some sort of evaluation.  I was floored to find out that the enthusiasm I projected was all it took to win me a spot on the panel.  I marveled at the fact that my belief in myself as an expert, with valuable information and a willingness to share it, made it so. And, best of all, my work with the panel was so good, I was asked to be on another panel next month.

When we are confident about ourselves and what we want, we are unstoppable. Don’t be afraid to get clear.