Sangfroid

It didn’t take long, less than two weeks, actually.  My new assignment has me so consumed with commuting extra miles, attending non-stop meetings and acclimating myself to processes and people, it seems like there is hardly time to catch my breath.  I’m back on that treadmill where I can barely stay on top of the avalanche of e-mail, doing the heads-down work at home in the evenings because there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

At three o’clock in the morning I found myself wrested out of slumber attempting to solve some vague, but confounding puzzle in my mind.  I can’t say what it was exactly, just that it was disturbing and had me working really hard.  My demons were now wide awake attempting to fill me with angst and self-doubt, the new tasks in front of me growing as disproportionate and overbearing as long shadows looming on the wall.

Eventually I drifted back off to sleep, and upon awakening to my alarm just a few short hours later, a quick scan of my in-boxes revealed a new post on one of my favorite blog sites, the one that reminds me how to find grace and peace in our fast-paced, 21^st century world.  Although I’m not proud that my morning routine involves checking e-mail while still reclining, I always read these particular posts in bed.  They speak of what truly matters in life and often cause me to rethink the approach to my day.

This morning was no different.  “At Home with Our Faith” is running a two-part interview called “Help Yourself”.  Read the post here:  http://homefaith.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/help-yourself-part-two/. The topic is how to find more harmony and enjoyment during the course of a day in spite of the constant demands placed on us. Who couldn’t use this advice, right?  It is especially valuable to me as I parachute back into another tour of duty at the office.

The post challenges the reader to ask herself “How do people feel when they’re with you?” Does your presence create a feeling of calm, safety and security where others would unburden themselves?  Or do people feel your need to be heeded, placated, respected or loved?  The idea is that we’re happy, and more importantly, those around us are happy when we project an inviting tranquility. 

As I processed this concept in my mind I thought about which one of my needs would likely bring the greatest amount of calm to my day if I eliminated it.  I settled on my desire to impress.  I am especially absorbed with this when working in a new setting where I believe, possibly erroneously, that others expect me to take swift action.  I ticked off the activities I have in front of me, visualizing how things might play out if I stopped trying to impress people.  How would decisions I need to make be impacted?  How would the course of conversations change or my direction be altered? 

The effects of this exercise were pacific.  All of the stress associated with urgency fell away.  I actually felt lighter and happier about starting my day.

What I also discovered is that the second point in the blog is important to how successful any of us can be at sustaining this behavior.  We need to find peace and happiness within ourselves in order to share it with others:  Whether it is noticing and capitalizing on those moments in life when we’re handed the opportunity to take a break, or allowing ourselves a few minutes each day to feel grateful.

As the day wore on and I got caught up in the urgent requests and issues that couldn’t wait, I was swept right back into the stress which I’m sure others could read all over my face. I can tell this is going to take some time to master.  But I’m encouraged by the success I’ve seen at home.  The relationships I’ve cultivated with my boys over the past five years radiate this philosophy.  More and more I notice our remarkable ability to remain calm and respectful with each other in spite of some extremely challenging situations.  It’s not all sunshine and roses in my home, but we find our way back to peace with an arresting immediacy. I’ve literally seen my boys calm down in my presence alone. I’m hopeful I can move this practice into the workplace. 

It’s past my bedtime, but I just had to take some time to write.  While it might seem like this is a lot of work, imprinting some words on my virtual paper never ceases to bring me a little peace.  I’m grateful for this gift.