Divisive

I’ve never been one to pay much attention to politics, let alone political rhetoric.  I don’t seek out information from this sector of news. When it’s pushed in my face every four years, I assume if I can just ride out the campaigns and election season, I can then settle back into the bliss of ignorance, going about my daily life relatively unaffected by the decisions our elected and appointed officials are entrusted to make. I’m not proud of it, but I’ll own it.

It feels like the campaign is still raging on; there is no place to hide, no peace to be found. I ask a seasoned follower of politicos if it’s always been like this, if the parties have always been diametrically opposed.  Have I just been under the covers my whole adult life, immunized by my own privileged self-interests to be unaware of the extent of the divide across our country?  What’s different now? 

From where I sit, the difference is how we talk to each other.  It’s how the White House speaks to the citizens it serves and our fellow human beings around the globe. It’s how we as citizens, in the various roles we play in society whether we’re journalists, legislators, comedians or laypeople, speak to the White House, and to each other.  It’s sobering to watch what we know about psychology play out as one side’s disrespectful comments cause the other to sink equally low and respond in kind.  It’s starting to feel wrong to laugh at Saturday Night Live. And it hits home as families struggle to retain harmony. Our dignity and respect for each other as human beings is nowhere to be found. Our mothers would be ashamed.

I’m spending a lot of time these days wondering how we restore common courtesy. Decorum is an old-fashioned word, one invoking pictures of southern belles fanning themselves calmly while sweating bullets on a hot summer day, but showing some decorum is essential if we’re going to tamp down the flames of the inferno raging in the hearts and minds of our population.

The easy answer is that the tone is set at the top.  It’s a fairly well-known leadership lesson that the CEO, the team leader, the teacher, the parent sets the tone for how we’ll treat each other as we go about getting done whatever it is that we do.  When a respectful and kind tone is absent from the top, it takes some very strong and courageous individuals in the ranks to uphold basic values of decency and humanity.

 

As I watch panelists and moderators struggle unsuccessfully for calm and composure while opining on the state of the union, I’m tempted to turn off the TV and walk away.  It’s hard to be in the discomfort of two sides arguing vehemently and often vindictively for their positions.  But it’s important we sit in this awkward space.  It’s important we challenge each other in these challenging times.

So I’m forcing myself to keep the television on, to listen to the painful dialogue.  I’m rooting for those who can maintain decorum and still get their points across effectively, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. I rally around those with the courage to answer, rather than evade, the hard questions. I cheer for those who can give the other side credit when it is due.  These are the true leaders, the voices of reason, and I have to believe they will prevail.