Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Requiem

I am somewhat surprised by how saddened this American girl is by the passing of Tom Petty.  I cant think of another artist who spends more time nor owns more selections on my playlist of favorites.  In fact he is on my playlist before the word playlist is even coined, for those who remember back to the days of mix tapes.

He writes exquisitely and succinctly. He speaks to me at the pivotal moments, those crossroads laden with emotion and uncertainty, able to be both a soothing balm and smoldering bomb. Its as if behind his famous grin lies the confident assurance were only scratching the surface as we sway to his music; we will someday understand the sage messages his lyrics hide in plain sight.  We just need to live a little.

And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God it's so painful when something that's so close
Is still so far out of reach

Slow to learn my lesson, I commit acts of serial pining, always incessantly, for the favor of unrequited loves who seem to slip through my fingers. I come to know exactly the chimera hes describing, exactly how it feels to be utterly convinced you are on the brink of grasping something that in reality was never even remotely near enough to touch.

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Blessed as a vessel for the creation of human beings, I find no better summation for the toils of pregnancy than The Waiting. Under all of its glorious discomfort lies an insatiable yearning to meet this precious individual Im instantly and infinitely cleaved to with an unmatched ferocity. Time never moved so slowly.

She's gonna listen to her heart
It's gonna tell her what to do
She might need a lot of loving
But she don't need you

Who hasnt woken up to the realization youve stayed too long in a relationship for fear the ache of loneliness is so unbearable youll tolerate snippets of affection from the wrong person?   We all need a lot of loving and, sometimes, the self-confidence to believe we deserve it and the courage to free ourselves from everything we know to find it.

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

She tells me Ive always been a free spirit.  Until this moment I havent truly realized how much of myself I suppressed and sacrificed to be who I thought someone else wanted me to be.  There is no journey more powerful or worthwhile than the one that takes you back to yourself. 

I need only to hear a handful of notes before I know hes playing A Woman in Love. The anticipation is hypnotic, intoxicating.  Its like this for me with so many of his songs. I could (and do) listen over and over again. It seems hell never stop draggin my heart around.    

No comments:

Post a Comment