Monday, January 22, 2018

Parity

I want to be a human being, not a human doing.  Her challenge hangs in the air as were packing suitcases for a week at the beach, two Type-A personalities trying to unwind how we will balance the guilt we feel leaving behind our busy work schedules with the glee and inspiration we know will appear when we unplug. Weve just spent a piece of the morning sipping coffee in a hot tub high in the mountains attempting to solve this and other world problems.

We talk about work as an addiction, albeit an acceptable addiction; something just as debilitating as alcohol or drugs, yet strangely coveted because society has deemed constant running on the corporate treadmill as the path to monetary rewards spelling happiness and success. But arent all addictions the same in the end, excessive practices waxing compulsive with the power to eventually consume us?
 
Think about it.  The runner pushing her legs unhealthy distances week after week in the name of training for a marathon.  The gamer in front of his screen, fingers working the joystick level after level on a quest for the top.  Our unnatural attachment to social media and the constant checking up on what everyone else is doing or, more importantly, how they are responding to us.  Are we living our lives or posting our lives?  These behaviors, and others like them, when practiced in excess can intrude on our relationships, isolate us and diminish the quality of our lives. 

Ive decided the warning flag is time. Its not the activity itself that is offensive, but how long or how often you are subjecting your body or your mind to any one task. Vices stealthily overtake us when we continually dose more than is prescribed.  I remember vividly friends who, while many of us had to bribe our children to read, deprived their son, a voracious reader, of books as punishment for bad behavior.  With only a finite number of hours in the day, when we spend a disproportionate amount of time on one activity, we leave room for little else.  We humans need a rich life of social interaction, quiet meditation, physical activity and heads-down concentration. Spending too much time in any one place starts to interfere. And those who make us aware of our imbalances tend to be the ones who care about us the most, those who suffer when we are absent from other parts of life.
   
So maybe the answer isnt to completely disconnect from your work while on vacation.  Sounds horrifying, I know, and its not healthy to be that person who attempts to conduct business at the same pace on vacation as at home.  You may think youre staying on top of things, but while your travel companions silently steam, your back-up at the office is wondering why you asked them to cover for you in the first place. What Im suggesting is checking in, reading messages periodically and responding only to whats critical, or taking a call or two to keep what feels urgent moving.

Conversely, and infinitely more difficult, I submit we dont completely disconnect from vacation while at home.  How can we routinely carve out time for other elements of life during work days that have grown exceedingly protracted with the onslaught of technology?   We think were expected to be available and responsive in the wee hours of the morning, during the lunch hour and deep into the night, but are we?  What would happen if we set boundaries around our time or allowed other activities to weave in and out?  Can we truly define and maintain our own balance?

Human being or human doing?  In order to thrive and find happiness we are both.  

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