Lioness

A colleague recently described me as a “fighter”, saying she is happy we’re working together because she knows she will have a voice.  While thrilled to be received so positively, I was initially perplexed, uncertain of the source or magnitude of her oppression, and taking seriously my obligation to uncover it.  As I noodle over the meaning of her words, I’m beginning to see that she’s not talking about someone to fight her battles for her, as I originally assumed, she’s talking about inclusiveness and my propensity to imbue it in my teams.

While I let the enormity of this facet of my reputation sink in, I can’t help but wonder how who we are becomes visible to those around us. Some of us come from a place where we believe we need to tell people what we are about, having little faith that others will notice what we’re putting out there.  Or that somehow our real selves don’t live up to the people we aspire to be on the inside, so maybe if we keep saying who we are, it will be so. It can be surprising then when having never uttered a particular word to describe ourselves those around us make observations and come to conclusions that align with our unspoken intentions.

A teacher at the middle school who knows my boys really well has shared with me on several occasions how evident their sense of social justice is.  Having experienced plenty of adolescents over the course of his career, I’m confident he’s astute at identifying anomalous aspects of character. He has cited over the past four years a myriad of examples of my boys’ conviction and willingness to be the voice of the underdog, or any student they have perceived to be persecuted. While their intentions are the best, the impulsive actions of brash teenage vigilantes have sometimes worked to their personal detriment.  But despite the hot water this occasionally gets them in their spirits are never broken.

The beliefs that we will fight for to the point of self-sacrifice; these are the lodestars of our existence, continually tugging us toward who we are like the pull of a kedge.  So ingrained are these values, that we may be unaware we’re even fighting for them. But others almost always can clearly see what’s unrecognizable to us.

So it pleases me immeasurably that my advocacy of inclusiveness is well established and expected among my associates.  This acknowledgment works as further enticement for me to use this strength to bring about the particular change this colleague is seeking.  To have a vision, to feel like you are skilled at making the vision a reality, and to have others know and expect that this is the reality that comes with you is like the triple crown of confidence.  How can you not deliver?  

Recognition for what we’re good at and what we value breeds assurance fueling us to continue to put our gifts out there. The great thing about a realization like this one is that we don’t need any extensive training or modification to the way we do things when it comes to importing our beliefs and values into a new situation.  All we need to do is be ourselves.  The way we go about doing our jobs will tell the story for us.

People talk of a job being perfect for them in terms of matching needs with skills and strengths.  I guess anything in life is like this.  You might use the same logic as the litmus test for the perfect mate.  But we all know that life is ever-changing and success is about adaptability and buoyancy.  The real challenge is in figuring out how you can use who you are to make the absolute best of any situation. 

We each blend an exceptional elixir made up of our values and beliefs.  If you can’t put your finger on the ingredients in yours, it might be time to ask a few questions.  What do you instinctively fight for?  Where do you draw your line in the sand?  What are your show-stoppers?  On what points do you always hold your ground? 

If you’re still not sure, ask a good friend.  She’ll know.

“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson