Sidereal

She stops by my desk commenting, “Everything we’re doing is hard."  Although she has a smile on her face as she speaks, I feel her frustration.  She’s the brilliant young analyst I’m fortunate to work with in my new role, full of poise, confidence and intrepidity that I didn’t deem possible when I was her age.  And she’s right; everything we’re doing is hard. 

It’s been a day of hard things.  Speakers we think are a given for meetings are canceling.  Systems we’re counting on as the lynchpin for several key initiatives aren’t holding water as we test them with stakeholders. Consensus around massive undertakings is slow to show its hands.  I’m about to give a presentation where the only certainty is that I have no idea how my audience will react. I have a new and inconvenient place to park my car; the valet that’s indulged me for the last fifteen years raised prices out of my range.  A tempestuous teenage boy grabs the upper hand again.  Even an hour of Pilates wears me down; the penalty for skipping last week’s class.  Bombs are exploding at the finish line in Boston.   

With the words of my rising star associate tucked in the back of my mind, I take on my last meeting of the day.  While I don’t quote her, as I present the challenges I’m facing with each item on my agenda my manager makes it clear to me why everything is so hard.  My new responsibilities, for the most part, are about bringing strategic vision to life. In his eloquence, and almost all in one breath, he explains both my role and the confidence he has in me to succeed:   It’s my job to figure out the program. Once put into operation, my design goes to someone else to run.  And he has it on good authority that I always figure out the program.  This is the hard stuff.

But it’s also the good stuff.  It’s the stuff I’ve been working toward.

Windlass turns one today.  At the risk of sounding like a parent gushing with pride in a bad holiday newsletter, I’ll say I can hardly believe it!    I took a look at my inaugural post, curious as to whether or not I am staying true to my original mission.  In a mere 252 words I challenge women to raise their anchors and sail. My stated goal is to provide “inspiration and ideas for action to get you where you want to go.”

I don’t talk about how hard it is in that post.  But in the 132 that come after I’m sure I mention once or twice that none of this is easy.  Sailing in uncharted waters just isn’t. It takes courage to embark on a journey filled with an uncertainty that never completely goes away.  But what I’ve learned in the past year is that time in the troughs is balanced with time riding high on the crest.  We surface from the undertow stronger than we ever were before.  

Some days are going to feel like everything is hard.  When you trust you’ll triumph the quagmire is a place you can bear to be in. Your accomplishments have the power to take your breath away.  Don’t be afraid to let them.