Erudition

‘tis the season for commencement addresses.  If asked to give one today, here are my aspirational truths:

Trust yourself.  You were put on this earth with absolutely everything you need carefully stowed within you to be who you are supposed to be. Put yourself out there even when you’re scared to.  You were made to be you.

Trust the mess.  Life is nothing if it’s not ambiguous.  Anyone can find the way when the path is clear.  Learn to be comfortable in the dark. True leaders find the way even when they feel completely lost. 

Practice improvisation.  Contrary to popular belief, we don’t know what will happen next. That manuscript in your head, you’re the only one who’s rehearsed it.  The people in the moment with you will cause you to edit (heavily) the screenplay of your life.  You may no longer recognize it.  But it’s okay because you’ll end up in the most wonderful places, places you may have never discovered on your own.

Practice integrity.  It’s about keeping your word, being where you say you’ll be.  This is about doing the right thing even when no one else is looking. 

Be human. Everyday. There are two sides to every story and even the most seemingly together people have heavy crosses to bear.  Give the benefit of the doubt. Show compassion above all.

Find your true north and never stray from it. Your internal compass is here to guide you.  It is the ultimate gut check.  Use it.  If it doesn’t feel right to you, it isn’t right.

Diversify yourself.  Cultivate interests beyond your job and your relationships.  They’ll keep you interesting.  They’ll make you happy.  If you make a little time every day for what you love doing, what you love doing just may become what you do. 

Stay curious.  There is always something new to learn.  Life is its own classroom.  Surround yourself with the smartest people you can find and never stop asking questions. 

Find someone to love who makes you feel safe.  A sage four year old quoted on the internet says it best, “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.  You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”  Listen for the lilt that speaks to you and then never let go.  Teach each other how to be there for each other, generous with attention, reassurance and touch.  With someone in your corner, you’ll reach every dream you ever set your sights on.

Take your time. You don’t need to figure it all out immediately. Life is long and wisdom can come only with experience.  You will change your mind.  And it will be okay.

Take risks.  If you aren’t feeling a little bit sick to your stomach, you’re probably not stretching yourself far enough.  Failure is an option.  In fact, sometimes it’s the best thing that could ever happen to you.  The soul searching that an epic fail invokes can open doors you didn’t know were there.

-- For my brilliant niece, Erin.  Congratulations Class of 2013 graduate!  I love you.

 “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  -- Anais Nin