Mantle

They say “What you think, you become.  What you feel, you attract.  What you imagine, you create.”  I don’t know who “they” are, and neither, apparently, does Google since my search for the individual to credit with these words of wisdom comes up empty.  Regardless of who published it first, this thought is another example of the power we possess to change our own lives. Maybe we all know this, but those who imbibe these words unlock a set of superpowers of staggering proportions.

The hot room is a safe place to stretch your body beyond its limits.  What we learn in this space, suffused with oppressive, suffocating heat, is to tune out all distractions.  Not just what we might be thinking about inside our heads, but the sweat dripping down our faces, flushing our eyes, beading on our backs, pooling on the floor.  We’re taught to focus on ourselves, to train our minds to move our bodies.  What’s illustrated quickly with yoga is a universal truth about trust:  All trust issues start within us.

 

Our bodies are fully capable, designed in fact, to articulate every single pose Bikram dictates.  When I’m wobbling on one leg attempting to hold my foot in my hand in tree pose, I’m certain my problem is not a lack of physical strength; it’s me holding back.  I’m letting self-doubt, my lack of trust in me, get in my way.  Nowhere are words of encouragement or faith being whispered, let alone shouted, in my head. My thoughts are about nothing more than remaining upright at all costs.  Instead of emboldening myself into the complete pose, I’m sabotaging my efforts, stagnating in suspension.  No wonder there’s no room to trust; I’ve muted my greatest strength.  My mind has no space for the image of success when it’s clouded with what it looks like to escape failure.  What if I focused on achieving instead of avoiding?

At the risk of becoming labeled a yogi, I’ll admit I’m more than curious about the self-mastery that comes with this practice, and how it transcends the hot room, wafting into real life. As I think about taking risks here to move toward full expression of these healing postures, I can’t help but compare this to the full expression of living I’m feverishly pursuing.

Of course we’re qualified to successfully tell the stories our beautifully arranged presentations at work lay out, but all we can think about before opening our mouths is the resultant horror of becoming tongue-tied or confronted with questions we can’t answer.  In relationships we seldom envision confession of a misgiving, mistake or misstep received with love and acceptance, so we stay silent, convinced with this approach we’re avoiding a reprimand.  More damaging than anything though, is when we hold back words of kindness, interest, love and desire because we question our worthiness, believing our admissions can’t possibly be embraced and appreciated, taciturn to avoid the pain of rejection.

 

I want to master yoga for no other reason than to master me.  I can see clearly now that what I feel, I am attracting.  My life is a hot room where I collide with individuals stretching me way beyond my comfort zone in areas where I have a thirst for achievement:   The manager teaching me to use my creativity to become an influential, strategic leader; the writer generously offering to share her experience and network in self-publishing; the date holding me accountable for my baggage.  When I think about these new people who have entered my life in the last twelve months to play pivotal roles, they are in some ways overwhelming, frightening even, so much so at times I want to push them away.  Yet, I’m cleaved to them because they are daring me to go after my deepest desires, to create what I imagine.

The enlightenment for me, after two weeks and ten yoga classes is this:  Like the yogi, we hold the entire cosmos within ourselves. We’re all born with the most incredible superpower ever designed already inside of us.  When we trust ourselves we’re poised to pierce through the sun.