Lodestone

My heart skips a beat when she asks the colleague next to me at the table what it is that makes me a good leader.  It’s that moment we attempt the impossible, to prepare ourselves for vulnerability. We’re not sure what exactly will be said, but we know the words are fraught with the potential to evoke a visceral reaction we pray we can field with passable grace.

Every day some publication somewhere is posting research, opinions, guidelines, maybe even folklore, around the seven, ten or thirty-three qualities a great leader possesses. As we digest these concepts, we can’t help but assess ourselves in search of reassurance we’ve got what it takes to come out on top. But my co-worker’s response to this question is anything but a checklist; it’s all about the singular combination of traits and values making me exclusively me.

Harvard Business Review, in "Which Women Are Rising to the Top?" cites data gathered from elite female leaders across the globe surveyed about how they rose to the top in their fields. The findings highlighted in this particular post are brilliant in their simplicity:  Exceptional women leaders look at success holistically; it’s not just about work, but about life. They are honest and open about the choices and sacrifices they make to balance, and they go about finding a workplace culture where they are set up to win on all fronts. 

What I love most is these women know this to be true: “They aren’t “one of the guys” and they don’t try to be.”

As this information sinks in, it starts to feel groundbreaking, and for me personally, vindicating. My colleague’s words are powerful because they tell me I’m succeeding on my own terms.  My determination to lead with authenticity, to resist the urge to be anyone other than me is paying off.  And it’s

reverberating.  I am smiling when it hits me every initiative I own at the office this year pairs me with an outstanding woman leader.  I find it ironic that I don’t set out to do this, it just happens.

We are natural magnets for what we most want out of life, for the connections we want to make, for the relationships we want to be in.  Is what you’re putting out there what you want to attract?