Brief

They arrive in a cardboard box: Fifty 3-1/2” X 5” notebooks lined up in a row, each containing thirty-two blank white pages pinned to their chipboard covers with shiny silver staples, drenched in possibility.  The most daunting of all is the lone copy offering a clue: “This book contains all the answers” is artist Dallas Clayton’s proclamation across the cover; however, he’s left the insides decidedly void for another artist (me) to fill.

   

And so I wonder about “all the answers”. If I’m bound by these pocket-sized limits, I’ve got some serious contemplating, culling and distilling to do. What words or pictures do I deem important enough, so essential to the human condition and getting through this life that they earn tenancy within this coveted real estate? 

Here are a few to get started:

Stop comparing yourself to others.  This includes your siblings, your thinner/prettier/younger friends, your parents, colleagues who outrank or threaten to outrank you, those women in yoga class who dare to wear the short shorts, and anyone and everyone on the internet.  You bring a unique and wonderful set of skills, intention, drive, humanity and perspective to every situation.  If what you have looks exactly like what someone else has, you’re doing it wrong.

It just might take a while. We’re all in a hurry for everything.  And the speed of life only seems to accelerate as we age. Everyone around us seems to demand instant results, and so we demand them of ourselves.  We can’t lose weight fast enough, get promoted soon enough, find a good man before the alarm of our biological clocks is blaring.  But life happens on its own time.  One day you look in the mirror and realize your commitment to diet and exercise is paying off; careers, reputations and bodies of work build slowly over time; we cry over many Mr. Wrongs before we recognize Mr. Right. Practice patience, and try to be kind to yourself in the process.

You’re right.  Wow! Is this one hard?  And I’m always blown away by the lengths we go to, the tactics we resort to in an attempt to bury these words deep in our throats. The other person in the conversation is often right. In fact, if you’re with a reasonably intelligent individual, they’re probably right, like, 50% of the time. There is no shame in being wrong.  We gain so much respect and credibility in every relationship when we’re able to concede the other person is right.  Just say it and learn something from it.  It will make you better.  Really.

No. We think the answer needs to be yes.  But honestly, aren’t you sometimes doing yourself or others a disservice with yes?   Today I declined to participate in a voluntary project I am quite passionate about.  I was the last to reply to the request (uncharacteristic for someone with her trigger finger perpetually poised over the “send” button). But when I thought about the time commitment and everything else going on at the office, I didn’t feel I could fit it in and get it right.  And guess what?  The earth is still revolving on its axis.  I am still employed. Someone else may get a chance to shine.

 

Why not?  I know it’s a question, but for those of us always throwing roadblocks in our own paths, or finding a million reasons why we shouldn’t take a risk and try something new, what if we interrupted our usual diatribe of excuses with some measured thought around what’s preventing us from going for it?  I wonder what we might find.

I don’t know.  In our googilicious world this may seem like a cop out.  Don’t we have the resources at our fingertips to research anything and come up with the answer freaky fast?  Yes, for a lot of things, but not for everything.  The reality is some things are beyond our purview. Some of life’s most challenging questions are rhetorical or for the seeker to look within herself to find.  It’s okay to admit you don’t have all of them.  The answers, that is.  Few of us do.  And fewer still are willing to sit peacefully in the unknown and just listen. It’s amazing what we hear in the silence.