Conundrum

One of my mentors in what I’ve come to call my child-raising network offered some insight the other day around challenges my 13 year-old is facing.  My son had shared with him this interesting perspective: “. . .just met someone I don’t like, guess my life’s about to get s#%*&y!” 

As I consider the counsel I’ll provide on this subject, I can’t help but relate to it.  Haven’t we all been put in situations with people we’re not particularly fond of and let them take us down a poisonous path?

I like to tell my kids to surround themselves with people who are happy, make them feel good and help them to be better people.  A positive attitude is contagious and we can’t help but absorb the enthusiasm exuded by those we like and admire. But we all know we don’t always get that choice.  Some people become part of our lives through no decision of our own and if we don’t hit it off we need to find ways to continue to stay positive and move forward. 

As adults, I like to think we have a little more control over this, but in the era of social media, I have to admit I’m confused.  We’re invited to “link in” and “friend” people, with an option to accept or decline. But who hasn’t received an invitation that was cause for question?   Do we really get to choose the people in our networks?    

It helps to define for ourselves what we want to get out of social media.  I am big believer in cultivating networks that align with my interests and get me where I want to go.  Whether the goal is to raise fine young men, go on a date or publish a piece of writing, the people in my life are both the vehicle and capital to make things happen. I carefully select people I trust, admire and enjoy.  After all my dreams are precious cargo and I’m making myself vulnerable to achieve them. 

But not everyone sets the same criteria for social networking. This is the dilemma. There is no litmus test for accepting invitations.   Should my connections be people I can attest to, would recommend a friend date or entrust with my children, or are they no more than acquaintances I’ve encountered somewhere along the line?    

The quality of the relationship is important to me. Our social media connections are very public.  There’s a part of me that believes my connections are a reflection on me. I’m not sure how accepting every invite I receive achieves my purpose and I don’t know the repercussions of refusal.

The jury is still out on this one for me.  How do you use social media?

Postscript – Today’s blog title is courtesy of my 13 year-old son.  We’ve started a word wall to capture cool words for the blog.  Thanks honey, I love this one!