Aphonic

If the blanket e-mail asks ten people to reply, I have a trigger finger on the send key. I am a first responder.  I can’t help myself.  I like having the answers.  I used to think this made me really smart.  Now I’m finding that sometimes it’s better not to respond.  Like when the questions are really complex and I realize I can’t address them immediately; I need others to weigh in.  Or when the questions are loaded, and watching others flail, I am thankful to be savvy enough to know to keep quiet.

Sometimes the questions at hand are beyond our powers of solvability.  Sometimes no matter how many possible solutions we throw at a problem, they don’t stick because others have ultimate accountability. But zipping our lips and watching what unfolds can be interpreted as disinterest, disengagement, despondency or defeat.  Isn’t it always better to expend some energy doing something, anything, than sitting back and doing nothing? 

Reading Phil Jackson’s book about coaching professional basketball players to wild success in “Eleven Rings”, I’m all about the Zen teachings he employs to love groups of individuals into playing as teams. He quotes Stephen Mitchell’s observation:  “Non-action:  The purest and most effective form of action.”  Wow!  That’s rich.

 

Sometimes the answer is in watching things play out, in trusting that those you’re coaching have absorbed your teachings and can get to the answer on their own.  You’re not in the game.  You have no choice but to watch others play it.

The trick is in keeping calm on the sidelines. If we let people, they’ll transfer their feelings of disquietude to us.  They’ll make us feel like maybe we should be doing something even though we know it’s not ours to do. And then not only are we frustrated that we can’t make things happen, but we feel like maybe we are somehow less because of it.

Phil Jackson says “Leadership is not about forcing your will on others.  It’s about mastering the art of letting go.”  I say you don’t have to accept the feelings others attempt to transfer.  Maybe you want to get comfortable being quiet.